Two Weeks!

I can't believe that I leave this place in two weeks from today. 2011 has really flown by for me. I started the year off on January 1st flying across the ocean to Thailand with no idea what God had in store for this time. I had high hopes of helping every child at Baan Nam Jai develop an intrinsic love for reading that would propel them forward into a lifetime of reading. I also came expecting things to go nothing as I expect, and that's exactly what happened. Although I did get to work with the kids on their reading a bit and they have really enjoyed reading the various books that were donated and brought over, my main job here has been helping take care of our baby boy who was born on January 25th and came to Baan Nam Jai on January 27th. Then, two days later I met a man named Sumu who came to Baan Nam Jai as the last stop on his short-term mission's trip with his church back in Melbourne. Even upon that first day of meeting him I could tell this was no ordinary meeting. I have been honored to get to know his heart over these past several months and am so thankful that I am going to be visiting him in two short weeks. These past four months have been full of blessings. I've been blessed to spend time with the kids here again, blessed to get to watch this precious baby boy named Non, blessed with plenty of time to do homework, catch up with friends, and spend time with the Lord, and to top it all off I got to meet an incredible man with a heart of gold named Sumu. All the while I was able to pursue my minor in literacy this semester! What an incredible few months... thank You, Lord.

Moment in History

I remember it like it was yesterday. We had just moved into our new house a week before, and we hadn’t even set up the TV in our living room yet. I drove to school and headed to my first period World History class. As I walked through the cafeteria it still smelled of the breakfast that some of the students would eat before class--every school cafeteria that I’ve been to has that same stale, pseudo-food smell. Immediately I noticed something different in the air: a sadness, a fret. Students were all around, either sitting in tables in hushed clusters or standing, staring. Staring up. What are they staring at? I looked up to find what seemed like a scene from a movie, but it was live. It was happening right now. On the television I watched in shock and horror as a huge jet barreled into the side of the World Trade Center tower. What had happened to the other tower? Is this a second plane? Two planes had struck the world trade center? Surely this is a mistake. Surely the scene will change and I will see Tom Cruise scaling the tower to save his fiancee before she crumbles to the ground with the rest of the tower. Surely this is a joke. A prank. How could this be happening? Who did this? Did someone do this on purpose or was it an accident? TWO accidents? The answers to my questions were becoming obvious, but I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to believe that someone would do this horrific act on purpose. I continued on to my first period class in shock, knowing that this moment would forever be lodged in my memory and in the history of our nation. I proceeded to World History as we watched history unfold before our very eyes.

Love

Yesterday I spent some time at a coffee shop (surprise, surprise) with a Thai friend of mine who I haven't spent much time with this stay. I actually met her in Montana as she was on the DTS (Discipleship Training School) before mine, and when she returned from outreach she stayed in my room for a week. Anyway, we had a lovely time catching up. She told me about how she met her husband, a Thai man who had lived in Australia for 17 years. She met him in Perth by accident and they were an answer to each other's prayers. They continued to have a long-distance relationship for six months until he came to Chiang Rai to do his DTS, spend time with her, and then they were married this past December. They have a beautiful story of God moving in their relationship, learning to open up, and becoming best friends. Her story was an encouragement to me in my relationship with Sumu, and as I think about how God has put us in one another's lives and spoken to us in a wide variety of ways I am increasingly certain every day that he's my guy for good. The biggest obstacle is the distance, but obviously it's possible to survive the thousands of miles of separation for a time; my friend and her husband sure did!

To-Do: Blog ✔

Today half of the kids just left for the beach for five days, and then the rest of the kids will head off next Tuesday. That makes for a very "sabai" house for two weeks with only six children here at a time (between two houses). I really think it's God's provision that this happens to be my last two weeks of school, as well. A nice, peaceful environment to get LOTS of stuff done!

Speaking of getting lots of stuff done, today is one of those days where I was having a hard time getting motivated this morning, partially because I was feeling overwhelmed at the amount of stuff I need to get done, so I did what I often do in such a predicament: make a to-do list. It's amazing what a to-do list can do for motivation. I LOVE checking things off of lists! I guess it's the type-A in me coming out to play (though I think I'm predominantly type-B). Already I have several things checked off my list, this blog being one of them. I'm so thankful for productive days!

One thing I am most excited about getting checked off my list today is getting a dress made. There is a brilliant local dressmaker who has made dresses for many of the ladies here (and for GREAT deals), and since I'll be going on some hot dates in a few weeks I figured I'd need at least one really nice dress, so I'm dropping the material off today. I can't wait. I've never had a dress tailor-made before! That reminds me of the Colbie Caillat song "Tailor Made". Now I've got the tune running through my head. I think I'll wrap this blog up and put on some Colbie Caillat as I clean my room (another check on my to-do list). Cheers!

Money Festival

Yesterday as I was walking through the mall, headed to the export shop to buy some new clothes to wear in Australia (gotta look cute for my man), there was a ridiculously loud celebration going on in the center of the mall: a money festival. It was put on by one of the Thai banks, and there were booths and prizes and displays celebrating the love of money. There were even signs promoting the love of money. Something about the whole scene struck a dissonant chord with me. It brought the scripture to mind:

For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. -I Timothy 6:7-10

I was struck by the emptiness of such a celebration. It grieves my heart that a country is so blinded that this seems like a worthy celebration. It reminds me of the Israelites who so quickly strayed from the Lord and followed idols, even when they were hearing His voice on a daily basis. Then again I wonder: how often am I guilty of the very same thing? I may not make a show of it for all to see, but I am humbled by the thought that I, too, often have empty idols in my heart that I need to daily surrender to God. If the idols of your heart were put on display in the form of a festival, what would it look like?

Wan Yute!

Wan Yute=day off. What a beautiful thing a day off is. Granted, it's not TRULY a day off as I have loads of homework, but at least I don't have anywhere to be against my own free will. :) I am just settling in to an afternoon at the coffees shop. It's a full house here with friends coming for lunch, so I'm not sure how soon I'll actually be able to get any real work done. Oh well; I always welcome a friendly conversation. After all, I'll only be in Chiang Rai for 3+ more weeks. I can't even believe it. My time here really is drawing to a close. This has been the best time of getting to know new people as well as reconnect with old friends, serving God all along the way by working with these precious children.

Especially toward these last few weeks I'm really feeling the crunch of homework and keeping up with my commitments here. I've had plenty of semesters where the crunch is on towards the end; this semester is no different. Somehow I always manage to get by, so I will hang on to recollections of past semesters where I finished well to be my comfort.

Different times in my life are more reflective than others. Generally in times of transition I become more reflective. I have been in one of those states lately...mainly in this past week. I can't help but ponder this time in Thailand, my upcoming time in Australia, finishing school, and embarking on whatever adventures God has next for me. Those who read this might get tired of my reflections, but that's just where my head's at right now. Sorry! :)

Also, here's a video a friend and I put together after our week with the kids. Enjoy!

I Survived Songkran!

It was a very full week last week with watching the kids for seven days straight, but it is over now (mostly). Now I have three days of baby duty with a house all to ourselves as the rest of the boys are camping. Hopefully this means I can focus and get some real work done on my homework!

Today I left the baby with the "maebaan" (housekeeper) and headed "bai teaw" (out for fun) with Crystal for some coffee shop homework time, chicken salad, and massages, then proceeded to go to the mall where I got four new cute shirts for my trip to Australia (two of them will be nice teacher shirts as well)!

I leave Thailand in less than four weeks now. Where has the time gone, seriously?? I can't believe I've already been here for nearly four months. It feels like I just got here but at the same time it feels as if I never left Thailand in the first place (two years ago). I hope and pray with all my heart that the Lord brings me back to this place in the future, but for now I must finish my studies and figure out where to go after that! I have a strong feeling it'll involve the Land Down Under one way or another... :)

Five days down, two to go!

We're approaching the end of our week with the boys. They have been doing mostly good this week, though yesterday only one boy came out ahead as far as behavior is concerned. Oh well; today is a new day. We'll be going out for moogata tonight.

Pictured here are the three other ladies that I'm spending the week watching the kids with: next to me taking the picture is Crystal, and on the other side of the table is Kyndra (right) and Joanna (left). We are enjoying a night of moogata, which is basically a barbecue over hot coals where you cook your own meats and veggies. This place costs about $3 per person for all you can eat meat and veggies, as well as coconut ice cream and other desserts to finish off the night. How can they afford to stay open?!

Today we'll be purchasing our own meats and veggies for moogata and heading up to the village of one of our nannies: Mew. It should be a fun time for the kids. They always seem to enjoy going out for a visit to peoples' villages. I guess I'm supposed to be taking the baby, but I don't know if I REALLY want to... will it be more trouble than it's worth bringing him along? I guess we'll see how we go at that time. I kind of want to stay home and get some homework hammered out... this week has been stressful in the homework realm as my free time has been severely lacking. Oh well...hopefully I'll get everything done that I need to do!

Hats off to Moms

We're nearly halfway through the week already! My how times flies when you're having fun/chasing boys around all day. Today I snuck away for a few hours to enjoy a nice latte and work on some homework. I feel for moms who work, take care of their kids, AND are working on their degree. How do you do it?! This week I'm getting a strong dose of motherhood as the rest of the staff is gone and we're basically acting as "mom" and "mum" for a week. I find it SO challenging to focus on homework long enough to get anything done. My hat goes off to you moms who are studying... I guess that's why God gave women the gift of multi-tasking, eh?

Even though these last couple years of studying have been full on with work and school, I really have had it quite easy being single because I only have to worry about myself. But, I am definitely in the minority in the PACE program as the majority of the women in this cohort are working and taking care of kids (or grandkids) AS WELL AS doing the PACE program. There should really be some sort of special award for moms who can pull this off. I guess the real reward is the degree at the end. Keep up the good work ladies... we're so close to that final reward!

Pool Day

This week is a big holiday week for Thais as they celebrate their traditional New Year: Songkran. Last time I was in Thailand during Songkran I was in for a pleasant surprise. Songkran is basically a country-wide water fight for a week. Friends and families will station themselves along roadways and throw water on passersby. I was in Chiang Mai for Songkran three years ago and it is quite a party there. Around the center of the city there is an ancient wall (well, pieces of wall) in a square with a moat around it, and it is the perfect spot for playing Songkran. My friends and I grabbed buckets, tied string to the handle, and would lower our buckets into the moat to collect water for our throwing pleasure. We were basically soaked through and through for about five days solid. During the hottest month of the year in a tropical climate, this was a very welcome relief from the heat.

At the children's home here, the leadership decided to give all of the Thai staff the week off to celebrate Songkran with their families, so that left four of us foreign girls in charge of the kids all week long. Crystal and I are in the boy's house with five rambunctious boys ages 5-10 and of course baby Non who is know 2.5 months old, while Kyndra and Joanna are in the girls' house with six girls ages 7-15.

To start off Songkran, we decided to take the kids to the pool for the day yesterday. We dropped the baby off with G'no and Moi, a lovely couple who adore Non, and took the rest of the eleven children out to lunch and then to the pool.

We really had a fantastic day for the most part. There was only one scare: some of the older kids were playing at the deep end and going off the slide and one of the younger girls decided to go play with them. She went off the slide but didn't have a floatie and was struggling to stay above water. Just before this, I had decided to make my way over to that end of the pool so they would have some supervision, but my pace quickened as I saw this girl struggling. Thankfully when I got to her she was just fine and didn't seem to have inhaled any water, but she was quite frightened. There was no need for a lecture; she knew now not to go to the deep end without an adult or a floatie.

Besides that scare, the rest of the day at the pool went off famously. All four of us enjoyed having that time to play with the kids in the pool for hours on end. When we returned home EVERYONE, nannies and children, were tuckered out. The boys didn't even fight Crystal when she put them to bed earlier than usual. They needed their sleep, and so did we!

Friday of Pampering

So, Crystal (another one of the volunteers here) and I decided to treat ourselves to some pampering this weekend. We headed down to the brand new mall (SO exciting, seriously. We now have Starbucks!), got ourselves two Caramel Macchiatos for the price of one, and headed down to the waxing shop to get our legs waxed. We had been growing out our leg hairs in anticipation of this day, and I was good and ready to be rid of my leg hairs by the time we got there. This was my FIRST EVER experience getting my legs waxed, and what an experience it was. I've always been curious whether getting my legs waxed or getting a tattoo would be more painful. Even though it has been two years since I got my tattoo, I think I can still say with confidence that the waxing was definitely more painful. But, it was cheap! All we had to do was buy the wax, and they did below the knees for free. Not a bad deal. We took the wax home and continued to work on my legs that evening.

After the painful waxing experience, we decided to continue pampering ourselves with a pedicure. They pampered our feet famously, and I'm loving looking at my toes right now.

While we were at the mall, I bought the appropriate ingredients for BROWNIES, as we were going to have some girls over that night and make our famous brownies and watch an old favorite movie together ("Dan in Real Life"). Since it was a day of pampering, I went all out and bought a bottle of wine as well.

When we finally got back to the house after grabbing some quick food at the mall (WAY better than mall food back home--trust me), our two friends had let themselves in and were waiting patiently for our arrival. We all proceeded to make our favorite brownies, sans a recipe as the internet was being uncooperative. They turned out AMAZING. I don't know if it was the Australian chocolate or what, but in my opinion they were the best batch yet. This brownie recipe is fool-proof. Kiah, one of the girls who came over, and I have made it many different ways and left it in the oven for far too long at times, but still they turn out great. I don't know how. They are magical. If you want the recipe, you can find it here: http://www.godiva.com/recipes/recipe.aspx?id=461 (Sorry I don't know how to do the hyperlink thing as of yet).

After the brownies were in the oven we settled into an old favorite movie, "Dan in Real Life," and enjoyed it like it was the first time watching it. I don't know what it is about that movie, but I absolutely love it, every single time. I remember now why Kiah and I watched it so many times when I was in Thailand before. :)

Of course a girl's movie night wouldn't be complete without a nice bottle of wine (and by nice I mean the cheapest one I could find), so we busted open our wine and enjoyed the movie to its fullest. Of course, some of us enjoyed it more than others, as I was undergoing more torture of leg waxing, and Crystal was enjoying inflicting pain on me FAR too much. All in all, it was a lovely evening, and I'm so thankful for the friends here who I can enjoy times like that with.

In exactly one hour I will begin a full on week with four of us farang (white) staff watching eleven rambunctious children and one hopefully not-so-fussy baby. I think the pampering was very much called for, as this will be a long week!

Moments to Remember

There are so many little moments to treasure throughout the day, and often if I don't stop to write them down, they will be gone forever. So, I will take a moment to write down the latest moments to remember.

A few minutes ago as I'm sitting on the front porch watching the kids and doing my homework, I asked Josiah (5) if he would throw his trash away and go wash his spoon. His response was, "Can I achoo first?" I didn't respond initially because I wasn't sure what he said. Then he walked over to the yard, stood facing the sun, and waited about ten seconds until his sneeze came. Then he proceeded to pick up his spoon and trash and do as I asked. It made me laugh; what five-year-old thinks to go stare at the sun to make himself sneeze? This one, apparently. :)

This morning P'Aphae, the head nanny of the boy's house, made some coffee for us. I grabbed the creamer, sugar, and a cup, proceeded to fill it with glorious caffeine, and started reaching for the baby's formula to add to my coffee. Thankfully I was awake enough to realize what I was doing and quickly corrected myself before I had a nutritious, formula-filled cup of coffee.

Two nights ago when I showed up to the boy's house for my regular night shift with the baby, the nannies and kids were sitting around a bowl of what looked like roots, peeling and eating them. They asked me to join them and told me they were eating sweet potatoes. Of course I agreed as I always enjoy a new social/culinary experience. It was so nice; us nannies were all at ease and enjoying the company of the three eldest boys before bed as we peeled sweet potatoes, ate them, and laughed and joked together. Most of the conversation was in Thai, and although I didn't catch everything, the spirit of the moment was easy to interpret, and I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Baby Non has gotten into the habit of conversing with me after his 4am feeds. He is 2.5 months old now and has really begun to enjoy the sound of his own voice. It is really quite adorable when he decides to chat it up, although I really wish he would choose a better time than 4am.

Reflections

I'm starting to realize how quickly my time here is drawing to a close. I only have 5.5 weeks until I head to Australia, then back home. It has felt so normal to be here during this time. It makes me wonder--will it feel normal to be back in the U.S., or will I feel a bit out of place? Although it was really good to be back home for the two years between my Thailand adventures, I never really felt like I truly settled in or that I was even supposed to. I certainly don't want to take this time I'm back home for granted, though, because I don't know how long after graduation I'll actually be in the country.

I've never really felt like I was supposed to live in the U.S. long-term. It's funny; in some ways, I've felt more at home in a foreign culture than in my home culture. I look forward with anticipation to what God has in the future. With graduation comes a whole new plethora of possibilities... which door will I choose? Where will He lead? I pray that He guides me as clearly as He has up until this point. He made it clear I'm supposed to be here in Thailand for this semester. He made it clear that He brought Sumu into my life for a reason. He made it clear that I should go to Australia in May, and He's made it clear that I am to complete this degree through LCSC. I have no reason to believe that He will not bring clarity in this next phase of life in His perfect timing.

Monday

Today is Monday, and it has been a very productive day so far. This makes me think that this is going to be a good, productive week. It's always nice to start Monday off on the right foot.

To start, off, my ankle is feeling much better, so I went on a bike ride up to the local waterfall (15 minutes there, 15 minutes back) with my friend Crystal. There's something about starting the day off with a bike ride that makes me so happy (I know, I should choose a better word than "happy" here, but nothing else seems quite right). Even last summer when I would often ride my bike between Coeur d'Alene and Post Falls (about an hour ride), I was always glad that I took the time to ride my bike and always felt better and my mind clearer because of it.

Next, I came home and had some Seattle's Best Cinnabon coffee and homemade granola. What a perfectly lovely way to start the day.

After a bit of thinking and planning what I would do with my reading group today (three kids whose literacy is still emerging), I met up with them and had a great lesson which doubled as a fulfillment of an assignment for my Emergent Literacy class. :) Last week the kids went to an English camp where they learned about Jonah and the Whale, so today we read the story in a great book I brought over for the kids, full of silly rhymes, and then I had them draw puppets and retell the story one at a time. They were all surprisingly engaged for the entire lesson! I planned to do a letter bingo game with them because I figure this would go quickly, but they seemed to really enjoy it. I love it when a lesson goes better than expected.

Every day, Monday through Friday--unless something else is planned--I've been doing reading groups at ten and open kindy at eleven. The kids have really been enjoying coming up to the office and playing in the kindy room. The best part about it is I don't have to do much--they find things to play with, make, build, etc., and I simply get to hang out with them. So, after reading group with the three kids, most of the other kids came up and played for a while. I love watching the kids get creative and make various things solely based on their imaginations. It reminds me of when I was a kid; give me a piece of cardboard and some art supplies, and I was a happy camper.

After this we had our weekly Monday meeting with all the staff. I announced my departure date (May 14th), and told everyone that I was going to Australia to visit my "fan" (Thai for boyfriend/girlfriend). One of the Thai staff, Moi, who understands a fair amount of English but will never speak it, responded, "bai tee Australia gap pat lom, luh?" Translation: "You're going to Australia with the fan (the kind that blows air on you), huh?" haha. I got a good laugh out of this. I love those moments when humor traverses language barriers and we are able to share a genuine laugh together.

Twisted Ankle

Today is my day off. Woohoo! Sadly, I have not been able to do as much with this day as I would have liked, as I rolled my ankle yesterday while playing with one of the kids. I'm REALLY hoping the swelling goes down soon and the pain goes away quickly. I woke up in the middle of the night to get the baby a bottle and the pain was quite strong, but it hasn't been nearly as bad since.

My biggest hope and prayer is that my ankle will be in good shape by the time I head to Australia. My man and I have plans to do lots of exploring since it will be my first ever visit to the Land Down Under. There are mountains to climb, beaches to walk, oceans to swim in, dancing to do, and 1000 steps to climb, not to mention wandering aimlessly around Ikea or the big city of Melbourne. I would be so sad if a little twist of the ankle prevented me from enjoying my time in Melbourne to its fullest.

More than exploring the city and surrounding areas, I am so excited to spend time with Sumu, the man of my dreams.

Abuse

As I was riding my bike into town today to study at the coffee shop where I am now, I came upon a woman carrying her baby on her back, a perfectly normal sight. The next moment I noticed a man who had pulled over on the side of the road and I watched him storm over to her and yank her by the arm, and begin to drag her toward the passenger seat in the truck, all the while yelling fiercely at her. This troubled me deeply, and I pulled over to the side of the road just ahead of the truck. As the man is yelling at her I asked, "Do you need help?" in Thai. She declined, but I could tell she was afraid. I wished there was something I could do, but as I was on a bicycle and I was pretty sure I left my cell phone at home, I felt totally helpless.

What are the chances that this man is going to take her home and beat her for trying to run away or go against his wishes? Pretty high, I thought. I reluctantly continued on my way to study, all the while praying for this woman and her young baby. A couple minutes later I saw the man drive past in the truck, woman and baby in the passenger seat, and baby carriage in the back. The woman had such a look of desperation, fear, and resignation all wrapped into one.

My heart goes out to this woman who likely feels like she is trapped and has no way out. Did she attempt to run away but he found her and brought her back? What has happened that this man feels he has the right to speak to her and grab her that way? It left me wondering how many women in Thailand are living a life similar to this woman, trapped in an awful cycle of abuse and dependence with no way out. Is there no place for her to go and get help?

Smile!

Baby Non is getting better and better at sleeping during the night, which makes me a happy nanny since my job is to watch him during the night, 6 days a week. Tonight he was especially precious. After sleeping nearly 6 hours between his first and second night feed (yay baby!!), I gave him a generous helping of milk and burped him afterward, as he was fussing. He let out two HUGE belches that could have been mistaken for a grown man's. After his tummy was feeling more at ease, he decided this would be a great time to have a conversation. So, he proceeded to stare into my eyes and coo as I responded in turn. I love these moments when we get to "chat" back and forth. He is so responsive for a little guy (now two months old). The best moment of this evening, though, is when he was beginning to fall asleep and out of nowhere he gave me a huge grin! I had seen a few gassy winges and some half-efforts at a smile, but nothing like this. He smiled at me; there was no doubt about it! Granted, he was also falling asleep, so maybe he was smiling at the though of a nice night's rest, but either way I got to witness a huge grin for a brief moment. It made my night.

This little boy has sure enraptured my heart. I think it will be very difficult to say goodbye in seven short weeks. And the rest of the kids... it has been SO NICE to be able to spend time with them again. I hope it is meaningful to them that I came back and didn't just abandon them like so many people in their lives. I realize I am only here for a short time (five months), but I'm praying that I can leave a positive impact on them during this time. I really do hope that I will come back here in the future, if not to live and work then at least to visit. Chiang Rai has certainly stolen my heart.

Burma Relief Work?

A friend and I here in Chiang Rai are praying about taking a group up to Burma for earthquake relief work on our weekend off, not this weekend but the next. She is a nurse and had an idea to bring medical supplies and administer basic medication to the people in Burma who are suffering injuries from the earthquake that occurred a few days ago. We're planning on meeting with some Christians who run a local coffee shop to see if they would pray about seeing if this is a possibility, and possibly joining us. There are lots of things to consider: 1. How are we going to get money for medical supplies? 2. How are we going to get the supplies to the people? 3. Would we be able to go into Burma ourselves, or would we be prevented by Burmese government? 4. Would some Burmese people here in Thailand be willing to go with us as translators? 5. What direction is the Lord leading us to go? 6. Who all would be able/willing to join us?

The Burmese border is only an hour's drive from here, and it just makes sense that some of us would go to help as we are so close and able to provide at least some relief for those suffering just across the border. Please be praying for the Lord's direction in this, as the Burmese government isn't the most welcoming. But, if the Lord is in this, we trust that He will direct us and protect us along the way. Please pray for clarity for all of us involved as we meet together about it tomorrow.

Massage Time

Two massages in 48 hours? Yeah, I could get used to this. Today I met up with an old friend who I met last time I was here in Thailand. She's been on staff at the YWAM base here for the past 5+ years, and when I returned to Thailand in January she was on furlough for six months back home in Melbourne. She returned last week, so today we met up for lunch and massages. She had been massage-deprived for the last six months, and although I just got a foot massage yesterday, I figured I could manage to suffer through another one for the sake of an old friend. :)

It was especially fun meeting up with her as she just got back from Melbourne, where I will be headed off to in 51 days to see my 'fan' (Thai for 'boyfriend'/'girlfriend'). The fun thing is, she is from his home church that I will be attending while I'm there! She told me today that she thinks he's a great guy; I agreed wholeheartedly. I'm so thankful to have friends who know him. It's not just a random internet relationship or even a random person I met who doesn't have any connections to my life. He came here with four other close friends who I got to know as well, so when I go to Melbourne I already know some wonderful people besides him. Upon meeting this team of individuals from his home group, I felt an instant connection, not just with him but with the spirit of this group of people. I am really looking forward to seeing them again and spending time with them as a group. They really do love the Lord and seek to glorify Him and make Him known. I could certainly stand being friends with these people.

Earthquake!!

I experienced my first ever earthquake last night. I was nowhere near the epicenter, but we certainly felt a number of sustained rumbles here in Chiang Rai throughout the night and into this morning. The funny thing is, I was actually talking on the phone to my boyfriend (man I like the sound of that) when the first one hit. Somehow I felt safer even knowing that he was there to talk to on the other side of the world. The baby didn't wake up, which was great, but when I went out to check on the boys two of them were up with the other nanny and walking around... it certainly shook them out of bed. It was really quite mild, though. At first I thought maybe there was a truck rumbling by, but that didn't even make sense since we're out in the country and not near a major road. The first thing I did was open the window and listen. The rumbling was not just in the house; it was all around. Shortly after the first quake and aftershocks, I saw on Facebook that the quake was centered in Burma, just north of here. I still have yet to hear about damages. From what I heard, the first on was like a 7.0, and there was another 5.6 (ish) around 11:30. It's pretty weird to feel the earth shaking under my feet. It is disconcerting to know that the ground underneath me is really not as stable as it seems.

"Facebook Official"

It's funny how making a relationship "Facebook official" makes it all the more concrete. It is as if we are saying to the world, "I care about this person and I don't care who knows it!" It's just been so long since I've had someone special in my life, and certainly nobody as special as this guy, that it all seems so surreal. But, this is really happening. It is "Facebook official". No taking things back now! Muahahaha! :)

In other news, the kids finished school a week ago, so I've started doing reading groups with them. Today we opened a Tubba Blubba project that was sent to us via Chantel (thank you, Chantel!), and the kids began writing about themselves and about Thailand. They had horrible attitudes about it at first, but I think they began to actually enjoy it once they got into it, though they wouldn't admit that to me. I'm really hoping they embrace the project and put together a nice collage of Thailand for the kids back in America.

Beans Are Spilled

I am at a loss for words these days. How can I adequately express the joy that I have felt these past couple of weeks? I suppose since there's a select number of people who read this (that I'm aware of...) I'll spill the beans.

As I mentioned before, back in January I met this guy. He is wonderful. I actually am in awe of how incredible he is, to be honest. I never thought I would meet a guy like him. He has such a soft heart for the Lord and for people in general, especially those in developing countries. I think it goes without stating that I have a heart for the same things. The more I get to know him, the more I discover I love about him.

What baffles me is the fact that he cares so deeply for me. Nearly two weeks ago now he spilled the beans about how he cares for me. That very same day, before he told me that, I felt prompted by the Lord to email him about flying to visit him in Australia. This was a HUGE leap of faith for me, as he hadn't even overtly told me how he felt about me. Yet, I sensed strongly that this is what God was calling me to do. So, I emailed him and I told him in as tactful a way as possible that I wanted to come visit him in Melbourne to see if there is anything to these sparks between us, and would wait for his reply. Well, after he had stepped out and told me how he felt about me, I asked if he had read my email. His answer was, "What email?" What perfect timing, I thought. I don't even have to convince him that the feelings are mutual... he figured that out for himself by reading my email and hearing about my desire to come visit him. Needless to say, he was ecstatic at the idea of me coming for a visit. He had even prayed, "Lord, can you please bring Steph to me?"

Since that day, it's like the floodgates have burst open. I've never been in a relationship like this before. There have been a few guys in the past, but none that shared my vision like him or cared about me like him... and none that I cared about so deeply.

For several years I have wondered, "Is it possible for me to open my heart up again?" I was really beginning to wonder if it would happen... if I would let myself love again. Over the past several years God has really brought me along on a journey of learning to trust Him more deeply and follow Him with all of my heart and mind and soul. In the past year I felt a strong sense that my time for meeting someone special was drawing near, but I had a hard time believing that since there wasn't one guy in my life who shared my heart and vision.

Coming to Home of the Open Heart here in Chiang Rai was a clear choice--I knew this is where God wanted me to be for this time in my life. However, I didn't think I would meet someone so special during this time. I see God's hand and His blessing clearly in this situation, and I will continue to move forward in faith and trust that He holds both our hearts in His hands. The craziest thing about all of this is the peace that both of us as well as those around us feel about this whole thing. I really believe God brought us together, and I trust that He will hold us together as we embark on this incredible journey. It is becoming increasingly difficult to be away from him and I so look forward to the day in less than two months when I get to see him face to face. So, there you go, a juicy tidbit for your reading pleasure. :)

Pinch me.

After years of inactivity in my "love life", I had almost forgotten what it feels like to meet someone. I heard once that in those initial stages, God gives people the gift of seeing that person for who they were really meant to be...sans all of the mistakes and insecurities and fears and worries that often plague us and our relationships. I could definitely see that to be true. How is this even happening? Here I am, minding my own business, volunteering at a children's home where there are NO available men (we have three men on staff here...all married), and somehow I meet this guy who comes here for just two days to serve with his team from a church in Australia. What are the chances that we would hit it off from the word "hello", and not stop talking since? What are the chances that he would hit every check mark on my list and then some? What are the chances that he is just as into me as I am into him? Judging by past experience, the chances for all of these things to align are slim to none, yet this is really happening. I'm REALLY going to Australia to visit him to see if there's something to this....am I dreaming? Somebody pinch me, please.

Twitterpation

Thoughts swirling
Emotions rising
Dreams growing
Prayers ascending
Could it be?
No, not me.
I daren't breathe a word
Lest it all vanish
Without a trace.

To the waterfall!

Why is it that I often don't take time to slow down and feel the wind caress my face or the birds sing their joyous songs? Thankfully my life over here allows for that much more than my life back in the states, and today is one such day where I was able to slow down and hear the songs of nature.

After passing baby Non off to his day nanny, I was determined to get outside while the air was still cool enough to enjoy it. (Hot Season is rapidly chasing us down here, and he has nearly overtaken us here in Thailand.) My friend Susie left me her bicycle to use for the duration of my stay here which is a true blessing. My only other option is a one-speed cruiser bike that is simply not my favorite bike to ride. I've been spoiled back home with my nice bike I bought myself after returning from Thailand last time, so I suppose I'm a bit snobbish now when it comes to bikes.

Anyway, I decided to ride up to Pong Prabaht waterfall, which is about a 20-minute ride from the children's home. I stuck 10 baht in my shoe to buy some water when I reached my destination, and I was off. As I was riding along, I was reminded of the sense of peace I often find as I am riding along the rice fields, villages, and mountains of Chiang Rai. The beauty here is truly breathtaking in its simplicity.

Twenty minutes later I arrived at my destination, exhausted from the incline at the end of the road. Just as I had remembered, there was a little store at the base of the waterfall park where I purchased my requisite hydration. From there, I decided my body had worked hard enough and I walked up just a little way to a rock by the waterfall. As I listened to the water let out a peaceful chorus below, I couldn't help but think of the goodness of God. I began to meditate on His character and was filled with joy at the thought that the God of the Universe would choose to love me and speak to me in spite of my faults. I thought about 1 Corinthians 13 and replaced the word "love" with "God", since God is love. Two things struck a chord in me: first, He keeps no record of wrongs. I know this in my head, but I often need to be reminded of it in my heart. Second, He always trusts. He always trusts ME? But I am human, and I fail. How could He trust ME after I have proven so many times that I often fail Him? Even more, how can He trust those who perpetually scoff in His face? He loves those who are opposed to Him, which means He trusts them, doesn't it? This is too much for me to understand. I will be praying for further revelation in this.

Humorous Moments

"Excuse me, cold American." I'm sitting in a coffee shop now and this is what the man sitting nearby ordered. It made me smile. I'm assuming he is from either China or Korea. It's moments like this that remind me to stop and relish the place where I am living. I love that I get to meet people from all around the world on a regular basis, and be surrounded by broken English as people from various cultures attempt to communicate with one another.

On a completely different note, at about 1am one of the boys, Josiah, came to my room nearly in tears and said "there's bug in bathroom". I figured he was overreacting but I followed him to the bathroom where I encountered a massive cockroach scuttling around the bathroom. My reaction: take the lid off the trashcan and cover the cockroach. I was NOT about to kill it (can you imagine the crunch?), catch it or otherwise deal with it. We were both satisfied with the trash can lid solution. Moments later, after Josiah did his thing, I woke up one of the other boys, Garin, so he could use the toilet. I made the mistake of telling Garin, "whatever you do, DO NOT lift up this lid because there's a cockroach under there and I don't want him to get out." Without missing a beat, Garin proceeds to sleepily pick up the trash can lid, put it back where it belongs, and watch the bug scurry about. He wasn't nearly as bothered as Josiah was, and there was no need for me to go in the bathroom, so I didn't bother dealing with the bug further.

I am increasingly surprised at the volume of critters meandering about. A couple of nights ago I went into my bathroom and found that it had been overrun by ants. There must have been at least five hundred of the critters all over the bathroom. My response: douse the entire room in baby powder. Ants hate that stuff! This morning when I took my shower I was surrounded by dead ants. Mission accomplished.

Whew! Saturday Is Here!

What a week. It has been a great week, but I have worked hard. Between night shifts with the baby and subbing during the day, I've been tired. How do new moms manage to have a new baby and work at the same time? If any of you reading this have been in that place, I applaud you. I never realized how much babies sap your energy until I've had this unique opportunity of being a part-time new mom, watching baby Non at night, six nights a week.

That being said, it was an interesting week! Overall I really enjoyed helping out in the kindergarten class. As the week has gone on, I've realized that 90% of the behaviors that arise (at least in the time I was there) were a result of unstructured time or boredom. Either there was nothing planned so the boys (two in particular who have a hard time) were coming up with their own ideas, or their attention spans were simply not sustainable for the amount of time that they were sitting in their desks. I'll be doing some more thinking and praying about a plan of attack for this teacher to support her in her efforts with these kids, but at this point I think it will be focused more on classroom management and ways to keep students engaged and actively participating in the classroom activities.

One thing I found really interesting is that I was told to stay on top of this one boy, we'll call him Stevie, because he has the most behavior problems. However, for the entire week that I was in the classroom his behaviors were relatively mild and were redirected very quickly with some firm guidance. His classroom rival, we'll call him Joey, sapped far more energy from me than Stevie did! This really makes me curious about the classroom dynamics the rest of the time, aside from this week I was here. From what I noticed the classroom teacher had much more empathy for Joey and I noticed her taking time to give him a hug or speak kindly to him, but she told me that she has a hard time with the other one because of personality conflicts. I'm still processing how I could support this teacher with some effective methods and ideas, while not condemning her for struggles in the classroom. Any ideas are welcome!

Substitute for a Week

Wow, it has been nearly a week since I last blogged. Whoops! I guess I was feeling uninspired and didn't want to post something boring, so I decided to wait until I had something to say. Well, today is the day.

Last week I got a call from the principal of the local international Christian school, and she asked if I would come in and sub for a week in the kindergarten classroom filling in as the assistant for four days and being lead kindergarten teacher for two. Since I am now just working nights with the baby it is possible for me to do more things during the day like this, so I agreed.

My first day of kindergarten was yesterday. Every time I am in a kindergarten class I absolutely love it. What a fun age! This kindergarten class is composed of eight high-energy youngsters who are NOT shy--not one of them. Upon arriving in the classroom on Monday, the teacher informed me that my job was to be with one boy in particular, and stay with him the whole time. She explained what a problem he was and how it was going to be a great struggle to get him to obey. I was pleasantly surprised with the delightful boy that showed up to school that day. The teacher said it was the first good day she had had all year. As one of the other teachers came in to ask how it was going she replied, "Did you know that I like teaching?"

The next day, today, he was also pretty good. When he is good, the rest of the class is as well. When he has a rough day the classroom dynamics are significantly affected. I'm sure nobody has had a student like that, right? :)

My goal for this week is to come up with a plan for this boy, thus supporting this struggling first-year teacher. I'm pulling out the archives of my special ed classes to put together a behavior plan that will be useful for her and supportive for him.

This week I am realizing that I really enjoy being in a supportive role for the teacher, not only as an assistant for the week but also supporting her with ideas and an action plan to make the classroom a more positive environment for both her and this boy. I can definitely see myself flourishing in some sort of role like this in the future, giving teachers the tools they need for success in their classrooms. I suppose that is a big part of the role of special educators, is it not?

English Class

Today was a great day. I feel like I have had more of those than not, lately. Thank You Lord. To begin, I had a nice chat with a friend on Skype for a while, along with making some much needed headway on homework. Then I had a date with one of the other staff here, Joanna, for my birthday. We went for coffee and lunch before heading into town for a nice Thai massage. Those ladies sure know how to give a good massage, let me tell you. It is painful at times, but mostly relaxing. I was really worried toward the end of the massage that the lady would put me in a position that makes me laugh hysterically. Last time I was in Thailand I had a massage with a bunch of friends and toward the end the lady pulled my arms out to my side and stuck my chest out with her knees in my back. I felt like I was recreating a scene from Titanic, and I could help but laugh at the hilarity of the reference. I felt bad for laughing and ruining the nice stretch, but I really couldn't help it, try as I might. This massage was very similar to that one, and I even glanced at my friend Joanna who was being manhandled into that very same stretch. "Oh no," I thought. "Here it comes." I proceeded to think of sad things like a dream I had last night where my dad made me get rid of my dog, or my grandma dying. I did NOT want to crack up this time! I was really getting quite nervous about the ordeal. This lady is going to think I'm wacko if I just start laughing out of nowhere. It was bad enough that I couldn't keep a straight face when she washed my feet. Thankfully, my fears were not realized. She finished with different stretches, and I was quite relieved.

After the massage we went to grab some more coffee (we each had one tea and one coffee between the two stops at coffee shops) and wait for some friends to meet up with me so we can go teach English together at the local hospital. We have a group of 3+ nurses who faithfully stay after their shifts to spend an hour with us in an English class. My friend Susie began doing this class with these wonderful ladies several months ago and has asked me and another woman to continue the classes with them. Last week was our first week doing the class. This week I decided that I would fulfill a requirement for one of my classes by doing a flannel board lesson with the nurses there. I LOVE killing two birds with one stone. Part of me wondered if the flannel board would go over well. Even with kids they are often considered outdated, it seems. In Thailand, though, people are funny. Adults LOVE silly games and things that we would consider childish. I was relieved to find that they were all very engaged in the lesson and listened intently. Of course their English is not the best, but they demonstrated that they understood the story by taking turns recreating portions of it until the whole story was finished. I was really impressed with how much they were able to recreate and say in English!

The real beauty of this English class is that we get to teach them English through Bible stories. These women are all Buddhist, but they are open to hearing stories about God from the Bible. I told them the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden with the serpent, the forbidden fruit, and God banishing them from the Garden and cursing them for their sin. The questions that these women had after the lesson were incredible! They asked questions about the tree of life, the serpent, death, and even how we all came to know Jesus. I felt so blessed that we were all able to share with these beautiful ladies the hope that we have in Jesus because of this simple flannel-board Bible story about Adam and Eve. I trust that these seeds we plant will bear fruit in time. I look forward to more "English lessons" with these women as we get to share more about the hope that we have!

Crybaby

I suppose it is about time to post another blog. Currently I am getting a nice leg workout as I rock baby Non in the crib while he cries his lungs out. He's been at it for nearly an hour now. He's fed, clean, burped, warm... It seems this is fast becoming his nightly routine--cry for a good while then sleep peacefully the rest of the night. I guess it's better to get it out now than at 2am, right? I already walked him around in the stroller outside for a good half hour+. He stopped crying when I picked him up but started up again shortly after I put him in his crib. I'm tempted to either go away from him and read for a while or give him some warm water to tide him over until feeding time. Hm... he stopped crying. I think it's a trick. What's the catch, baby? I'm waiting for the wailing to start again in full force any second now. Nothing? Hm. Well, okay then. Maybe blogging is the key. Start blogging, then he stops crying. :)

Alright, I think I better take advantage of the silence and try to get some shut-eye. More to come later!

What a Weekend!

This weekend has been great. I decided to take advantage of my one night off and head to Chiang Mai for a bit. It is 3 to 3.5 hours away depending on the bus, so an overnight stay ends up being a pretty quick trip when you factor in travel time. However, I was determined to make something of this birthday weekend. I decided to go to Chiang Mai, get away from the lovely little angels here, and see a few friends I haven't seen since I've been back. Well, my plans got thwarted for the better! I love when that happens.

One of the girls who works here with me, Crystal, had a friend in town who was planning on doing the "Flight of the Gibbon" tour. It is basically a series of zip-lines through the jungle for 3-5 kilometers when all is said and done. Anyway, he didn't want to do it by himself, and Crystal wasn't able to go with him because she had to work, so he asked if I would go with him, expenses paid. "Um, yeah!" was my approximate response. It's about $100 per person to go, which is A LOT of money here. That's one month's rent and food for me! So, I graciously accepted his generosity and headed off to Chiang Mai the next day.

It was kind of funny spending the day with a near-total stranger, but we had a lovely time. We joked about being "friends for a day". My friend-for-a-day, Shane, and I had fun practicing speaking like the other, as he was from Australia and I am from America. I practiced my Aussie and he practiced his American, which sounded more like a southern drawl.

Our Flight of the Gibbon went off famously, at least in my opinion. There's nothing like being out in the middle of the jungle and zip-lining through the canopy of rich greenery. I can check that one off my list of "things to do before I die". Now I just need to go sky diving, bungee jumping, backpacking through Europe, gondola riding through the canals of Venice, graduate, become a teacher, start a children's home, get married and have kids, not necessarily all in that order.

I smile as I think about my future. I realize I am a incessant optimist by and large, but I can't help but believe that some really good things are to come.

Anyway, back to this weekend. While we were in the jungle, we saw the most incredible thing: a family of three gibbons!! We had just been talking about how rare it is for people on these tours to see any gibbons, even though that is the tour's namesake. Then, out of the blue, the tour guide directed our attention to the treetops where a momma gibbon was holding her baby! I was awe-struck as I saw these two gibbons just hanging out among the branches. Then, someone spotted another one! I think it was the daddy gibbon, dangling from a branch like a towel hanging out to dry, without a care in the world.

Later we hiked up a beautiful waterfall, ate some dinner, then met up with a Thai friend of mine who I hadn't seen since I've been back to Thailand. The next day we met up with another Thai friend who I hadn't seen since my return along with a friend of his, and the four of us hiked Doi Suthep (a mountain hemming in the city of Chiang Mai) to a beautiful waterfall that I have visited on several different occasions prior. Of all the waterfalls that I have been to in the world, this is the one that I dream of and long to visit. It isn't spectacularly tall or anything, but it is so inviting and peaceful. There are places to swim, jump off rocks into the waterfall, slide down slippery rocks, or just relax with a good book and good friends. My friend-for-a-day went extreme Aussie on us and climbed up the waterfall, went swimming in his clothes, cut his foot, and experienced the waterfall to the fullest. The rest of us were content to dip our feet in and enjoy the deafening falls and sunshine (though my Thai friends were not as keen on soaking in the rays as I was). After the soul-replenishing waterfall adventure, we went to a noodle shop and I got one of my all-time favorite Thai dishes: Khao Soi Gai. It is a northern-Thai dish with yellow egg noodles and chicken in a curry soup topped with the same noodles but deep-fried. It is served with a side of pickled vegetables, shallots, and lime. I was pleased to end my time in Chaing Mai on such a happy note: good food with good friends.

Jetlag...ish?

Today I am feeling somewhat akin to jetlag. I am three nights into my new schedule of night baby duty, and it is finally catching up to me.

Today was lovely... I spent the majority of it working on homework at a coffee shop, but mostly chatting with a friend online and friends who came in to the shop. It was lovely. The hustle and bustle of bodies in the shop left as quickly as it came. Suddenly I looked around and it was back to what this place looked like at 10am--my friend Kyndra and I with our MacBook Pros, getting some work done. I pulled out my textbook again, after giving up on getting any studying done with all the people here, and suddenly fatigue hit me like an ocean's wave during high tide. Then, one of the sentences from my textbook really resonated with me: "The learner makes meaning when he or she exhibits an 'inherent passion' for what is to be learned" (Vacca, Richard: Content Area Reading, 9th ed., p. 188). In my state of pseudo jet-lag from my abrupt schedule change, I realized that I am not currently exhibiting "inherent passion" for the subject, thus meaning will not be made. Beautiful: I have a solid reason to stop studying from the text which I am studying!

Ok, time to go teach English to nurses at a hospital. Lord, give me energy to get through the lesson! Anyway, I just had to share that comical moment. I may be the only one who finds this funny, but hopefully someone out there extracts some enjoyment from it. :)

Inspired

You know what I love about being in a place like this? I love that all of the people I work with are here to serve. They have had to sacrifice in one way or another to be here, and they do it willingly. I have to remind myself sometimes what a special group of people we have here. It isn't normal for people to give up family and friends and familiarity to serve children on the other side of the world.

I was having a conversation with Susie last night, a woman who inspires me in so many ways. She is leaving what has become her home for the past five years--this children's home--to embark on a new adventure of serving women in a prison near Bangkok. I felt challenged as she said, matter-of-factly that it's just a need she saw needs filling, so she's going to fill it. It wasn't about this great call to leadership and pioneering a YWAM ministry in a new location--which are both great things--but it was about seeing a need, a group of people who are hurting and in need of a Savior, and going there to share the good news with them. I am so excited for her. She is going to a dangerous, hot, humid, dirty, and otherwise unwelcoming part of Thailand. There is really nothing in it for her going down there, yet she is going simply because she sees these ladies are eager for Good News. Isn't this what it's all about? Denying yourself, picking up your cross, and following Him? I just pray I will have the courage to live like that, going wherever I see a need that God calls me to fill, no matter what the challenges may be, because His kingdom is greater than my own personal comfort.

Stressed!

It's funny how stressed out I can get over homework. I am a huge fan of due dates and deleting things from my to-do list, but when circumstances get in the way of completing my homework on time, it seriously stresses me out! I just need to chill. Breathe in, breathe out. A zero here or there won't kill me, though I feel that it will. Life happens. It is OKAY. Phew. I just had to get that out. Thanks for reading. :)

Now that that's out of the way.... I'm realizing how crazy busy I have been over the past two weeks. This week things are looking up. I am now officially ONLY on night shift with Baby Non, which means I will have the whole day full of sunshine to myself to sleep, study, ride my bike, drink coffee, hide away with my Kindle, spend time with friends, or whatever else I decide to do. I think a balanced life is on the horizon! It's amazing how out of balance my life can feel after three busy weeks: 1 week with a friend visiting and the following 2 with a brand new baby to look after. I can breathe easier today, knowing the long hours of working night shift, then day shift, then night shift, then day shift are behind me now.

Instead, I get to look forward to a friend's graduation tomorrow. Two friends, actually. They are graduating from Mae Fa Luang University here in Chiang Rai. The funny thing about graduations in Thailand is that people don't actually get to walk until about a year after they graduate. Each university graduation has a member of the royal family present, and they speak and congratulate each of the students, so it's a really big deal. Today as I was getting my daily caffeine dose at the local coffee shop, I noticed the roads were getting cleared off; there were police officers stationed every couple hundred meters all along the superhighway, for who knows how many kilometers, making way for royalty. I've seen them at this for hours before, clearing the roads and waiting for the royal family to drive by. Then, they drive by. It's quite anticlimactic if you ask me.

Recharged

Lately I have doing lots of pondering. I have been pondering the fact that I really believe I am on the dawn of a new season in life. I realize I am pondering a little prematurely, as graduation isn't for another 10 months, but I will go on pondering. With the end of one thing comes the beginning of another. What does God have in store for this new season? I don't know, but I wait with expectancy.

It is nice to actually have some time to think. Sure, I'm busy watching kids and studying and all that, but not like I was back home. My days filled so much more quickly, and I was running from one thing to the next for about seven months straight. Don't get me wrong, I love having a busy life, but it is nice to have time to read, reflect, and pray. It is energizing for the soul. I can only go for so long without being recharged. Ultimately, there is only One who can fully recharge my batteries, and I am thankful that He is doing that now.

Today's Ponderings

As I am sitting here at Doi Chang, a nice little coffee shop in downtown Chiang Rai (which isn't that big of a downtown, in case you're wondering :), I'm reading my textbook about young adult literature and how to integrate reading and writing to make it meaningful for students. The text is peppered with quotes from various writers such as Harry Mazer who wrote, "Writing is a joy, as reading is a joy...as words themselves are a joy; as playing with them, arranging and rearranging them in rows and patterns and letting them dance and sing is a joy." This quote led my mind on a little rabbit trail. Not every student is going to find writing as joyful as Mr. Mazer, though I wish they would; I wish I would. That doesn't mean, though, that students won't find something that gets them fired up. For one, it may be animals. For another, it may be gadgets. Yet another student may be fascinated with outer space. In my opinion, teachers are responsible for fanning the flames of these interests and encouraging students to pursue those things. As a teacher, I need to wholeheartedly believe that the children sitting in front of me could very well be the next Louis Armstrong or Julia Child or Ernest Hemmingway or Bill Gates. Children are SO diverse in their interests, and it is unfair to expect them all to be interested in the same things. I guess I'm just pondering how I might draw those interests out in students and help them be all that they were created to be. I know I am among friends when I say I dream of the moment when a former student comes to me and says what a difference I made in his life for believing in him and encouraging him to pursue his dreams.

A Day In The Life...

As I approach the blog today, I am unsure of what to write. Today has been full, but full of normalcy. I spent another night watching baby Non. He was pretty fussy, so I didn't get much sleep. I am excited about the new roster, though: I will be ONLY be on baby night shifts (6 nights a week)! Of course I will have to adjust sleeping habits accordingly, but it will be much nicer than trying to juggle day and night shifts like I am now. I love getting to work with all the kids, but I think I will be more effective if my energy is focused on working with Non. Plus, it will be great for him having the consistency of ONE person working with him every night, rather than trying to get used to a different person every night.

After my night shift, I threw some laundry in the wash since I was out of EVERYTHING. I had a pair of pants but no shirt, so it was time to do the washing. The nice thing about my limited clothing (about 1.5 weeks worth of clothes MAX) is that I am forced to be disciplined about doing laundry. I can't let it go for a month like I would sometimes do before... :)

While the laundry was in the wash, I had every intention of doing some homework, but it just wasn't happening. Sleep was beckoning. I got up about an hour before my shift and got to work on homework. I finished just before 3:00pm (midnight back home), which is when the assignment was due. Why do I always do that? Anyway, I was feeling a little bit guilty working on homework while on shift, but I don't think anyone would hold it against me. There were no kids and there wasn't really much work to be doing, aside from fixing snack and dinner.

I decided to make som tom for snack. It is a spicy papaya salad that consists of shredded green papaya (before it is ripe), fish sauce, shrimp paste, lime, garlic, chillies, and usually green beans, tomatoes, peanuts, and some tamarind juice. It is made with a mortar and pestle, which makes it all the more fun to prepare. Belle, who is 15, skipped the last 45 minutes of school and arrived home early, so she showed me how to make it. It ended up being pretty spicy, but delicious nonetheless.

My helper for dinner was Mai. She loves to cook, and I love having her cook with me. I really had no idea what to make for dinner, so I let her be the brains behind the operation. We ended up making some noodle soup with tons of veggies and egg tofu in it. It was delicious!

Okay, I really need to get to sleep. I hope Belle won't mind me going to bed early...I am so beat!

A Few Photos for Y'all

For those of you who have been begging to see some pictures, I have finally posted some. Most of these are from a wedding this past weekend. One of the BNJ staff, Kak, was the bride, so we brought the whole gang down to celebrate. Enjoy!

Here is most of the Baan Nam Jai family together after the wedding. I sure love these guys!

Here I am with some of the kids, enjoying dinner after the wedding.

Here I am with the bride (Kak) and groom (Lek) after the wedding.

Yesterday we celebrated Hope's 10th birthday, and I made brownies. Hope is the one in green.

Here I am with my friend Susie, who will be leaving us soon to go serve at a women's prison down south. It is a bold endeavor as there is currently no YWAM ministry down there. We will miss her dearly! If you think about it, pray for her. She really need the Lord to go before her!

Last but certainly not least, we have baby Non. Here he is at the ripe old age of 1.5 weeks. He is two weeks old today!

Crazy Dream!

I'm not sure why, but I had the weirdest dream last night. I'll let you in on the bits and pieces that I remember.

I dreamed that I was in this big meeting hall of sorts, like a church building or a grange hall, with all kinds of couples and families of couples. I soon discovered that it was a big mass wedding, and I was one of the brides. Who is my soon-to-be husband? I was eager to find out. Everyone seemed to know who their future spouse was except for me. Couples were sitting closely, cuddling while anxiously awaiting their name to be called. There were assorted gifts at the front for the various couples, and as their names were called they would go up and accept the gifts. Part of me was excited to get married, but a large part of me was really regretting that I had said yes to the first guy that had asked. Was I just settling because I wanted to be married? Yes. I couldn't even remember his name or what he looked like. My eyes were scanning the place to find this lone groom. Finally the MC of the night announced our names, and the man sitting in front of me with his family looked back sheepishly. He was my husband. My stomach sank. I don't even know this guy! How could I possibly be married to him in a few short minutes, or hours?

Since our names were called, we went up to the front to accept our gifts. Of course people clapped and cheered and all that, as people typically do for weddings. Our gifts were mainly comprised of candy. This is kinda lame, I thought. After this, we had some time to go off before the actual ceremony, as far as I could tell. I was seriously considering getting as far away from this whole wedding business as possible, but I figured I would give this kind-faced man a chance since I already said 'yes'. We went off for a walk to get to know each other better. Could I really live with this person for the rest of my life? I desperately wanted to find out. As I considered this, I thought of India, and how so many people there don't know their spouse until their wedding day, like me, and many of them lead perfectly happy lives. They learn to love their spouse. Love is a choice. Yes, I could choose to love this man. Is it okay that I don't have deep feelings for him...yet? The more we walked and talked, the more I felt comfortable with the idea of marrying him.

That is all I remember from my dream. Strange, eh?

Baby and Weddings

Whoops...it looks like it has been a few days since I posted on here. Since I last wrote I've been on baby duty two more times: one night shift and one day shift. Oh, and I started knitting him little socks. They are quite adorable. I have a strong suspicion that this little boy is going to rip my heart out in just a few short months when I have to leave. He is already so dear to my heart.

Tomorrow we're taking the whole gang (except baby Non, I presume) down the street to the wedding of one of the Thai staff here, Kak. She is Christian and her husband is Buddhist, so this is actually their second wedding. They had a Buddhist wedding a few weeks ago that I wasn't able to go to because I was working with the kids, and now they will be having a Christian wedding at another Thai staff's house. I kind of wish I could have been at both, if only to see the difference between traditional Buddhist and Christian weddings in Thailand.

Thai weddings are funny. In every wedding picture that I have seen, as well as in the one Thai wedding I've been to, there is always a bright blue or pink or red backdrop behind the stage with the names of the bride and groom, the wedding date, and maybe some other words written in big blocky Styrofoam letters. In Thailand, that is just what weddings look like. In America, that would just be tacky. It's funny how different traditions seem so weird to one culture but absolutely the norm in other cultures. It makes me wonder what traditions we have that would seem tacky like that.

Baby Duty

I had my first night of baby duty last night. Non (long O sound) will be a full week old tomorrow! It's a rare delight for me to hold a baby this little, let alone be in charge of its care. It was certainly an enlightening experience, and my respect for mothers of multiple children is growing by the day. I now know firsthand what it is like trying to think of various creative ways to get a baby to sleep or stop crying. I learned just how tricky they can be: they make you think they are asleep until you try to put them down, only to start up another crying fit again. I learned that newborn diapers and clothes still aren't small enough for some babies. I learned how to wrap a baby so he has no room to wiggle...apparently they like it that way? Mostly, though, I learned how rewarding it is to hold a human being whose head easily fits in my hand, no larger than a grapefruit, and know that this little one is deeply loved by God. He has reached down pulled him out of a bad situation and given him a hope and a future, and I get to be a part of that. That is pretty incredible.

Ants and Mosquitoes

Yesterday I realized how deeply I loathe mosquitoes (or as the Aussies say: mozzies) and ants. For starters, I began my shift by cutting up some fruit for the boys when they got home from school. I grabbed the large cross-section of a tree that is the cutting board only to find it infested with ants. After washing most of those ants down the drain, I looked down and saw the floor covered in ants. Where did they all come from? So, I took the broom and swept the counter and floor to be free of these devilish creatures. But, it didn't end there. They continually found their way onto the counter, into the rice, through little cracks and crevices... This morning I wanted toast, but the toaster was crawling with ants! I guess that's how the Egyptians felt when they had to deal with the frogs and the locusts, way back in the day. Ants are quickly becoming my second least favorite creature on earth.

What is my least favorite creature on earth, you might ask? You guessed it! Mozzies! Last night as I was struggling to fall asleep on account of the three mosquitoes buzzing around my room, I contemplated the word 'hate'. Now, I try to be a very loving person in general, but if there was one word I could use to describe my emotions toward mozzies last night, it would be 'hate'. Every creature has a purpose, right? Well, I can't, for the life of me, figure out what the purpose of mosquitoes is except that they are a curse for all mankind as a result of The Fall. Ants, as much as I loathe them, are industrious and provide food for many life forms that filter up to us. They are the most populous creature on earth, if I remember right. I can see good coming out of their existence on the planet, though they are not my favorite. But mosquitoes?? I really can't find any redeeming value in them whatsoever, and I blame them fully for my sleepless night last night.

Today is the Day!

The title of this reminds me of a verse in Psalms: This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. -Psalm 118:24

This certainly is a day to rejoice, because we get to welcome a new baby boy into our home! The hope and prayer is that he will be eventually reunited with his mother when she is in a better place to care for him. For now, though, I feel blessed with the charge of helping look after this precious brand new baby boy. I have a feeling tonight will be quite sleepless, as I am on shift...

A Few Good Days

Today was the last day of my 'vacation', as my friend just left on a bus back to Bangkok tonight. It was a nice few days of playing and pretending I'm on vacation, but now it's back to work and school. I work at the boys' house tomorrow night, and I've heard two rumors going around. One: the baby comes tomorrow. Two: the baby comes on Monday. I'm pretty sure he is coming on Monday, but I would LOVE it if he came early and I got to be one of the first ones to work with him. :) Meanwhile, baby things are starting to come out of storage: crib, cloth diapers, baby blankets, baby clothes... Honestly, I am really looking forward to this small glimpse of motherhood. It is far from being a mother myself since there are so many of us sharing the load, but I will definitely get a taste for what that will be like down the road, Lord willing.

New Baby!

No, I'm not pregnant. That would have to be a miracle, and I don't think God's planning on doing that more than once in the history of the universe. However, we are getting a new baby here the children's home on Monday!! He was born yesterday, and that is about all I know as of yet. I foresee many sleepless nights in my future, but I am so excited to help take care of this precious little boy. Everyone here at Home of the Open Heart will need an extra measure of prayer as we pool our energies together to help raise this baby. Please keep everyone here in your prayers, especially Aphae, the boy's house manager. We will all need an extra measure of grace!

Adventures

Dear blog,
It has been an adventurous few days, hence the neglected blogging. Forgive me for not spending much time with you. I'll make up for it by letting you know what I've been doing.

Monday, my friend from Coeur d'Alene who has been teaching in South Korea came to Thailand for a visit. Her name is Valerie. Her being here has been a great opportunity for me to be a tourist. I don't generally go out and do tourist things, but having her here has been a great excuse to do those things.

Monday

The day Valerie arrived, we went on a longboat ride about an hour upriver to an elephant camp, where we proceeded to ride an elephant. Our elephant dude was really nice; his name was Nu. He stopped off to let us get some pictures up on the elephant, and while we were riding along he let Val and I take turns sitting on the neck of the elephant. There is nothing quite like riding an elephant barefoot with his floppy, leathery ears bouncing against my toes.

Our boat dude, whose name escapes me, asked if we wanted to stop off at the "Buddha Caves". Since Valerie hadn't been to a temple yet, said, "Yes please" (but in Thai)! The caves were beautiful and intricately created by the Master artist. It saddens me a little that not He, but Buddha, is being glorified in them. It was a sight to see nonetheless.

After getting pictures with our boat dude upon his request, and being dispatched back to our mode of transportation (a motorbike), we headed in to town to experience the Night Bazaar. In addition to eating a tempura battered assortment of fried foods and spicy basil chicken, I had the pleasure of introducing Valerie to a couple of my favorite desserts: rotee with egg and banana and chocolate (http://www.flickr.com/photos/26933430@N07/2586978013/), and kanome buang (http://www.flickr.com/photos/paragon1/3836044718/). Of course, we had to wander around and see all of the unique wares for sale, as well. All in all, it was a good, full day.

Tuesday

One major tourist attraction in Chiang Rai is the White Temple (http://www.flickr.com/photos/wunder_kind/3546606220/), so that is where we went. It is still in construction, though it was started twelve years ago. It is the brainchild of a famous artist in Thailand who wanted to make the most beautiful temple in all of Thailand. I think he may have succeeded. One nice thing about the White Temple is its unique design. Every minute detail is considered, down to the tiny mirrors on the exterior, making it shimmer in the warm Thai sunshine. Throughout the temple and temple grounds, one finds symbols of pop culture such as a statue of Predator, paintings of Neo and Vader and Superman, and many other little things. As a piece of art, it is quite fascinating. There are also some morbid pieces such as a graveyard of hands reaching up to passersby as they approach the temple (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pixx0ne/4678243320/), or skulls throughout the grounds. Artistically, the place is intriguing. Spiritually, it is dead and disconcerting.

Next on our list of things to do was to hike up to Khun Korn waterfall (http://www.flickr.com/photos/martinamor/431154298/). Even in the dry winter season this waterfall blew me away as I stood before it. A 1.4 kilometer hike brought us to a 70-meter high wall of water that is truly awe-inspiring. Standing at the edge of the pool the waterfall empties into before continuing its descent down the mountain, I felt as though I was in a windy rainstorm while water sprayed me with surprising force, just a hint of the might this beautiful landmark possesses.

After returning to town, we enjoyed the experience of moogata (http://www.flickr.com/photos/juliansimpson/63075113/), finishing it off with mouth-watering coconut ice cream and Thai jelly desserts. Then, it was back to the night bazaar where Val found some more goodies to buy and we found our beloved kanome buang seller. I had the hardest time remembering the name of the dessert, so we just had to go back so we could ask again and, of course, support his business.

A man with a not-so-British accent who we discovered was from New Zealand invited us to a rasta concert of a group called Job 2 Do. I thought it sounded slightly familiar but couldn't place it. Then he started singing one of their songs, and I knew that song! "Do do do do tuh tam, tam mai tung tam gap chan dai?" Translation: "See see see what you do. Why do you do this to me?" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAdZzr0ysxg) I was so excited to hear these guys, since I knew one of their songs! We went and had a great time. One of my favorite things is unexpected GREAT times, such as that night. There's no way we could have planned that, but we just happened to get a flier for a band that just happened to be playing in half an hour who had never been to Chiang Rai before, who I also just happened to know their music and love! It's times like that I am reminded how much my God loves me. It's like a love note saying, "Here, this is for you. I know you're going to love it. I've got a perfect night planned for you."

I just finished a book last night called Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson. It was one of the options for readings in a Young Adult Literature class that I'm taking. At first, I wasn't particularly enthused with the writing of the book. I was expecting something written to the reading level of a high-schooler, but this was not the case. The writer who wrote Mortenson's story used, in my opinion, excessively long sentences and unnecessarily large words that the normal person wouldn't use, or even hear of for that matter. It took me a little while to get past the dramatic prose and into the story.

However, once I got past the initial frustrations of the writing (again, from a mainly high-schooler perspective for the sake of this class), I really started enjoying the book and this guy who became the beloved "Dr. Greg" in Pakistan and Afghanistan.

To summarize the story, basically this guy tried climbing K2, didn't succeed, and ended up wandering along trying to find his was back when he took a wrong turn at a yak-hair bridge. He happened upon an isolated village where they had never seen the likes of him before. He learned that they didn't have a school for their children, and he committed on that day to do something about it. He returned home and began working and saving as much money as he could to return. He started fundraising, quite unsuccessfully at first, until one guy bought his story and donated the whole amount needed for a school. He went back to build the school but learned that what they needed more than a school was a bridge to their village. He returned and humbly asked his sponsor for a bridge, and he agreed. So, later he would rejoice with this village in their newly completed projects: a bridge and a school, which enabled their children to reach for the stars. Through this process, he learned what a need schools were in that area, and he committed to helping them in any way he could. Eventually his rich benefactor formed a foundation for him, and with the help of contacts in the U.S. and Pakistan, he made this is life work and started dozens of schools, especially for girls, in Pakistan and Afghanistan. Amidst our 'war against terror', he was fighting terror in the best way possible: giving these kids a future so they have another option besides terror. It was a truly inspiring story.

This book helped me realize that my distant dream of starting a children's home/school for kids with disabilities in an area where they are rejected and despised is actually quite possible. Mortenson showed, through his story, that one person can make all the difference. Why would I use this one life I'm given 'taking care of number one' when I can do so much more?

Strange Occurrences

Since I've been in Thailand, I've noticed some strange occurrences.
1. I started flossing.
2. My room is clean, and it has stayed that way.
3. I've been doing laundry regularly.
4. I learned how to iron pleated skirts, all the while wondering WHY schools would require such a uniform. It is more trouble for the parents/caretakers than for the kids! Why not settle on a nice pair of wrinkle-free slacks or shorts with a wrinkle-free polo?
5. I went jogging.
6. I have free time.

Everything else over here seems to be as it should, but these things have simply baffled me.

Exaggerations

Many a friend has chastised me for my commitment to facts. What is so wrong with estimating the price of a sale item at $4.57? What if I didn't remember EXACTLY how much it was, but I remember it was at least 5 cents more than $4.50? Why can't $4.57 be an acceptable approximation? It is, after all, an approximation for me, since I'm not CERTAIN of the price I paid.

Well, this post is dedicated to those who have tried to get me to accept exaggerations here and there, approximate to the nearest dollar, or tell a story without correcting myself a hundred times (well, more like 5-10) and getting lost in the details. You know who you are.

The anxiety is welling up from within me, threatening to choke me with its grip. It came on like a monsoon in rainy season. One moment, it is sunny and tranquil. In an instant the sky is gray and the clouds are saturated, ready to burst. Then it hits: a torrent of worry and apprehension. Where did it come from? What happened to my tranquility I was enjoying just moments before?

Well this entry took a different route that I had expected. The idea of telling a story with less than absolute accuracy was more than I could handle (hence the anxiety). It is something I will have to work up to. For now, This will have to do.

Making progress with literacy...

...well, literacy plans, at least. Today I have been thinking and researching and trying to decide what the best plans of attack are for the different kids here regarding their reading. I decided to go more of an informal route with the kids. Rather than sitting down and having a formal lesson on CVC words (bat, kit, pup, etc.), I put a word family poster on my door with -at, -et, and -it word families. As kids enter my room to borrow a book, which they do on a nightly basis, I can give a mini-lesson on CVC words and quiz them. I'm not sure how well this will work, but it is worth a shot. I also posted the pre-primer sight words all over the wall of the three most struggling readers in the girls' house. One of these three girls still has a way to go in phonemic awareness, so I'm mainly concerned with the other two girls mastering those words.

At the boys house, two boys are not yet to the reading stage. Another boy has developmental delays and is having trouble with his other subjects, so at this point I think I'm not going to press too hard with him. There are two who are past the beginning stages of reading, one who is fairly advanced, and I think they will both benefit from some focus on fluency and comprehension.

Well the kids are home now, and as usual my room was flooded with enthusiastic little bodies. The word wall on my door was a success! I had a mini informal lesson with the girls who I felt would benefit from it the most, and they got it! One idea that I had been mulling around was a hit with the two stronger readers of the girls, and together we made word posters for them on sight words they have not yet mastered.

Even Belle, the eldest girl, asked if I would teach her some new words. I did an initial QRI (reading inventory) word list with her, and I'll copy some passages tomorrow for her to read for fluency and comprehension. I am excited that she took initiative with this, because she is 15 and rather independent, so I didn't want to force her to improve her English literacy if she wasn't interested.

All in all, I think it has been a good day off. :)

Back to blogging!

For those of you who stumble upon this blog, one thing you will probably notice is that I haven't blogged in almost two years. I suppose the reason for that is returning home to America and settling into the 'normal' life of working and going to school. Shortly after I returned from Thailand, I decided to look into finishing school. After investigating the program at Lewis-Clark State College (LCSC), I decided to go for it. That and cooking pizzas has been my life for the past nearly two years now, until I felt God leading me back to Thailand, back to Home of the Open Heart (www.baannamjai.org). Two weeks ago I arrived back in Thailand, feeling just as at home here as when I left.

One thing I really felt compelled to pursue with this return trip is English literacy for the children here, and for that one needs quality books! The last several months of my life has consisted of book raising, visiting thrift stores, buying discount books at Hasting's, and doing whatever I could to get the word out about my efforts. Honestly this was particularly stretching and challenging for me. I had trouble knowing where to start, who to talk to, what steps to take, etc. It seemed like such an enormous task, and I am glad that it is over! In the end I was able to pack my suitcases full of books and didn't get charged ANY baggage fees on the way over. I barely kept my two big bags at 50 pounds, and I am fairly certain I didn't keep my carry-on under 50 pounds. I really think God has His hand on the whole luggage situation. They could have easily forced me to check my carry-on bag because of its weight, but nobody ever pursued it. Thank You, Lord!

The children have been eagerly devouring the books, which makes it well worth the effort of getting them over here. I am still formulating a plan of attack for more formal literacy teaching, but I feel like things are off to a really good start. The kids are knocking on my door nightly to trade their books in for new ones, and are unceasingly asking me and other nannies to read with them. I am actually quite surprised nobody has knocked on my door in the time that I have been writing this.

Well, I think that is all for now. There are many more blogs to come over the duration of my stay here, mainly due to the fact that I am in a writing class and keeping a blog is part of my coursework. Might as well keep everyone updated on the goings-on here and kill two birds with one stone, eh? Thanks for reading!
Stephanie