You know, I feel pressure to come to a blog with something profound and life-changing, and if I don't have that, why post a blog? Well, I realize that the pressure I feel is self-imposed, so I thought I would face that head-on tonight with nothing profoundly life-changing to share.
Isn't that true with my relationship with God, too? I come to Him wanting to give/get something significant, but when it comes to my everyday worries and fears, I hesitate coming to Him because He has heard it all already. It's the same old stuff. Putting it in words makes it sound so... unspiritual. But, that is reality. I may be halfway across the world, serving God by teaching preschool to orphaned children, but it doesn't reduce the struggles and misgivings. It is interesting. I don't have the accountability like I do back home... the really close relationships asking the hard questions, the regular sermons, the amazing worship times... I feel like I am learning what it means to be a Christian, really. I was just talking with my friend here about this and we had a great discussion. We were talking about how we missed the great worship times and the solid friendships and the depth of teaching, but maybe that's not what it's all about. Of course, those are vital parts of most of our lives as Christians, but it is important to be certain of who you are in Christ even when those aren't readily available.
Lovers of Jesus come in all different shapes and sizes, yet there is one thing that is abundantly clear: we all share the same Love. (This seems completely out of place and I'm not sure where I was going with that, but I'll leave it anyway.)
I feel like I'm rambling, trying to make my thoughts sound spiritual when really they're just random. However, if you think about it, everything is spiritual, because Holy Spirit never leaves us; He is with us always. But that's beside the point (if I even had one).
I guess, I am just thankful that whatever I am going through, good or bad, God is with me and loving me no matter what. I don't have to have all the answers, and I'm not unlocking the secrets of the universe, because those are His secrets to reveal to me anyway. I just get to enjoy the journey that the Lord has me on. I often get so caught up in trying to figure out where the road leads that I forget to look at the beauty all around me. The beauty of life, though, is God leading me through it. If things would go how I imagine them in my head, my life would look so different, but I'm so thankful that I'm not in control of my life! Thinking about next year, when I go home, the following months, I really wonder where He is going to lead me, because I have NO FLIPPIN clue! That's the fun in it, though, isn't it? As much as I would love to know what God has in store, I am so thankful that I don't, and I just get to lean in to Him and let Him lead me along.
So, this blog may not have much coherency, but these are my thoughts as of this Thursday night in Thailand. May you be blessed. :)
Steph
1 comment:
Thank you. :o)
What you shared meant a lot to me, and I can't quite put the reason into words at this point, but I wanted to say thank you nonetheless.
So... Thank you.
And, by the way, you are greatly missed. I wasn't sure if you were aware of that, but now you are. ;o)
Post a Comment